A few hours after the 'launch' of this blog, here is the first of the many stories I am going to tell. Make sure you have a tissue or hanky right beside you because you're really going to shed lots of tears. .. Hmmm.. nah, I bet you won't. :)
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It was on that fateful fay of the 28th of February 2006 when the results for UPCAT was finally released. I must admit that I wasn't as excited as I was in anticipating or knowing the results from USTET. In fact, when I was in Grade 6, when all about this UP-thing had been told to me by my teachers and some relatives, I had a certain uncanny feeling within me. It's like I feel that it would not be the school for me.
I know a lot would surely be raising their eyebrows but that's what I really feel. It seems like I had a premonition that the worst will happen once I stepped into the halls of that university. Lo and behold, it indeed happened.
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Maybe one of the reasons that I wasn't that excited about entering THE University of the Philippines is that my course in that 'yellow' school was a lot nicer to hear than the other. I had passed a 'double-degree' or BS-BA course in UST. It was a Social Science course back to back with an Education course. I'll be getting two diplomas at graduation.
But of course, studying in UST is REALLY far more expensive than studying in UP. (The tuition increase had been implemented in 2007.) And because my parents cannot afford to send me to that school, I would again admit, that I reluctantly enrolled at UP.
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A lot had been expecting me to 'rise like a star' in the field of academics because I have been the unprecedented and consistent top 1 in elementary since Grade 1. They told me that they know, I would be one day entering UP because of my 'intelligence' and be able to graduate there with honors.
I did not know that this immense expectations had pressured me a lot. It started going in my system when I was in high school wherein I had struggled a lot to be on top but failed to do so.
It was just before I got evicted at UP that I had finally realized that I have let these expectations of others to control my life and kill me. Whenever people would see me, they see in me a very intelligent person that is like a 'walking encyclopedia' that knows everything. They often think of me as the 'bahay-iskwela' person.
And I have let their creations of my being to subjugate myself into the pursuit of being what others think of me.
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As I was going through the enrollment process, I also had this feeling that this is not right which can be further proven by the constant rumbling of my stomach. But then again, I did not heed to what I am feeling. I just went on with the enrollment process that lasted about 6 hours, together with an acquaintance (who incidentally is also a Political Science major and would be one of my classmates in one of my classes).
My father had then accompanied me. He didn't know that his son is not yet ready and would never become ready to face college life in UP.
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Then came the orientation. I can't believe myself that as I went home, I had not remembered anything that had been discussed in the program. I cannot remember what transpired during that day. It seems that everything went from my right ear and went out to the left.
Even right now at this very moment, I've been wondering if I had really attended the orientation or it was just a dream. Wait a minute. I think a part of that orientation was some sort of a tour around the different buildings and landmarks in UP. But I'm still not sure. Maybe some of my ex-classmates or someone else from UP would be able to tell me what happened in the orientation in 2006.
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I remembered then that it was also the month wherein I started my blog not by using any blogging platform but through the sending of group messages to my classmates in high school. I bet they were really annoyed to the point that some had deleted my number and would blatantly reply to me with 'Hu u?'. So I finally decided to save my classmates from being annoyed, I decided to spill out what I'm raving to tell to everybody in my blog.
And right now, I'm annoying everyone else with my stories that would never be actually read but still I would like to share, just in case they feel the urge to read it.
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Then the most dreaded day finally came. The first day of classes.
(To be continued)
Photo taken from here.
grabe dennio,,,naaalala ko tuloy ang high school days natin,,and natatandaan ko ngang sinabi mo samin na mas excited ka sa ust,,,i share the same feelings din though,,,gusto ko ring mag-aral sa admu because it is a liberal but not radical school pero financially challenged din kami kaya ayun nauwi ako sa peyups,,,and about the blog advertisement sakin naman okay lang yung advertisements mo,,,hehe
ReplyDeletehello dennio... I like this story... don't think frustated of what you failed to do... rememeber that if we are not lucky on the first try, maybe a better endeavor awaits...
ReplyDeletewow. same here. i had the same feeling talaga when i entered up.. and, i wasn't excited for the upcat results too. i never dreamed of enrolling myself into up kasi.
ReplyDeleteup was my mother's choice. kaya 'yun, isang sem lang tinagal ko sa university. i transfered.
hayy. i miss being an iska. :)
I imagine that is one of the primary purpose of blogging, just being able to go out and say things without necessarily having to worry if people will want to read it. Sure comments are good, but they're just that, opinions by other people. Nothing beats being able to say how you feel and chronicling your thoughts.
ReplyDelete