I have to confess something. I had been too lazy to finish what I have started. Well not really lazy but I'm always too tired to sit down in front of the computer and make my computer screen bleed with my thoughts. Still if I have the time to do so, my thoughts are so 'unorganized' that I don't know where to start. That's why I'm really tempted to just slack off and texted EUQIE. :D (Who is she? Well.. You know the answer. :D And speaking of temptation, she's the sweetest temptation that I can't resist. Haha.. :D)
Talking about temptation, I would want to write on this one because lately, I find myself being 'tempted' most of the time to do certain things - like going back to my 'old self.'
This is not to brag about it but lately, I've been finding myself to be much closer to God. I try to read the Bible everyday. Yes, I try because sometimes I fail to do so. But as much as possible, even if I don't have my 'Daily Bible Reading Guide' with me, I just open up the Bible and read some wise advices from one of my favorite books: the Proverbs.
Did that 'habit' made me holier?
No. In fact, the more that I try to become one, more temptation comes in my life.
Like right now, I'm tempted to stop writing down this post and just scour the net for the latest and hottest scandals.
But because I'm trying, I try hard not to fall into it.
According to Microsoft Encarta Dictionary, temptation is defined as the 'desire for something bad, incitement of desire or cause of desire'. For Catholics and Christian alike, there is an accepted 'truth' that a temptation is just a 'precondition in committing a sin.' It means that once you succumb to that, you have already sinned against God. (Please do correct me if I'm wrong.)
Lately, I had been able to find out for myself that getting closer to God is not really the answer in evading temptation. The 'elders' are right. Once you committed yourself to Him, more temptations would try to lure you to go back to your 'old self.'
The one who brings forth temptation in this world knows what specific temptation that can used be used on you. Usually these are our weakest points: power, money, love, lust, anger or envy. Name it. Alam ni Taning kung paano ka niya susulutin.
I would admit, even though this would make myself further vulnerable, that Taning knows that my weaknesses are girls. In the most unexpected and unguarded moments, he would send an 'angel' infront of me so that my eyes would stick upon that 'angel'. So at that point he got me, I had sinned. Pero paano ako nagkasala sa temptation na iyon?
According to my brothers and sisters in our Singles for Christ community, if you had seen someone you like and then get a second, third or nth look and started to stare at the person, you are already committing adultery. Why? Because your thoughts starts to fleet away. Most of the time, to lustful thoughts. Not neccesarily about sex but because you have began to have a 'desire' to that person. (Again, please correct me if I'm wrong.)
So most of the time, 'angels' would pass infront of me or would land as my seatmate or classmate until I would take a second, third and nth look at the 'angel' and would make me sin all over again.
But why is is happening? Because Taning don't want me to go back to God.
Temptation is inevitable. But you've got two choices: face and fight it or give up and enjoy the view.
Sometimes, I would still give up and just 'enjoy the view.' But because of my other 'desire' to go back to God, I find myself praying very hard. Praying for the 'angel.' (And praying that my love won't be angry at me. I love you euqie. :D) Praying that God would give me more strength and more wisdom to overcome that temptation.
Because I cannot do it alone. Temptations are here because we try to get closer to God. So no one knows the better solution in overcoming it than Him.
Most of the time, people just give up and 'enjoy the view.' They'd rather go for the 'sarap' rather than the 'hirap'. It would be understandable since it is our nature to always go for something that would give us momentary bliss. We always think that something that is hard to achieve is not really rewarding. Yet in the end, they would find themselves suffering more because of what they had done.
Something that had happened to me in the past.
Temptations that I had 'welcomed' into my life and eventually destroyed it.
Something that I won't let to happen again.
Why? Because of two things.
My love for our Heavenly Father above.
And my love for my father, now 52 years old (it's his birthday today), who had taught me to resist all of these temptations so that I won' have much regrets in life later on.
Happy Birthday Papa. :)